Grace Paley: "All my habits are bad."

Boy howdy. I'm extremely listless today. NOTHING is getting done. And when you have 50 billion jobs (my choice, sorta, so yes, I know) and things you actually want to do (other than those jobs), being listless doesn't help in the getting of things done. All I end up doing is checking and rechecking the blogs I read to see if something inspiring will spur me into action. Pictures of celebrities and steampunk watches are not going to inspire me to read manuscripts, so it's an exercise in futility. Big surprise.

With this whole internet thing, lately, I've figured out why so many people comment on blogs and read livejournals and were part of all those message boards and such like the Bronze for Buffy fans. I don't read comments on blogs because so much of it is "OMG THat's the Cutestestest puppy i ever seen") (Yes, I read those sites.) And there's not really any comment in their comments, to paraphrase Joan Cusack. I'll read every word you comment here, of course, but still. What I figured out, ten years later than everyone else with a computer on the planet, was this whole reaching out into blank space for a connection thing. OH, now I see. People talk to me and then I can talk to them? Over the interwebs? And we don't know each other yet? And we might like ALL of the same stuff? OMGBBQWTF!

Yeah, I know. Sometimes things just take a while to rise to the surface of my brain. It's in there, but I haven't really heard myself yet. Like recently, I discovered running. As far as I'm concerned it's just me and Phidippides out there trying not to get run over by the aging peloton in Prospect Park. It, like, works. It makes you feel good and lose weight. This is freaking AWESOME. Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?

Where was I? Oh yeah, the listlessness. See how it goes? I try to start something and then I'm pulled down a hundred different paths. I know I'm not the only one who does this, of course. I'm not saying I'm anything special because of it. I just figured it out, you know, today. So I had to tell you. And show you this door to nowhere. Because that's where I'm headed this afternoon.

Re: Photo. Dumbo, Brooklyn. Spring, 2007